If you're like me, once thin and now beautifully curvaceous and voluptuous (ahem plus size (trying to be kind to myself)) shopping is a pain.
The other day I saw a really pretty nighty at a tailor's shop and stopped to buy it, it was 200₹ not expensive but the tailor kept putting me down telling me that I would never fit into it. Thankfully my husband who stepped in and assured me that i would totally fit it. Turns out the tailor was wrong it fit perfectly, but my ego was deeply bruised.
Shopping when you're plus size is hard, finding your size in the pools of small and medium sizes which rule the market — you have to shy away from people's stares and judgements. This is why I started shopping online.
Earlier, fashion defined the plus size to look more like a "sack" … thankfully there are now plus size models being used in certain sites however finding the right fit is important. I'm here to tell you, if you have prominent curves you may feel embarrassed about, don't worry, there will always be someone thinner than you and a person fatter than you! Weight is relative, it really is. I remember being 58kgs and feeling obese, today I'm 100 and I'm like am I obese?!
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I began admitting the truth to myself a few years ago that I could no longer shop in cheap Bandra or Lokhandwala market and that I would have to accept that I'm not L or XL anymore but a 4xl. Accepting yourself and your weight is honestly the first step. Once I did, I felt free to figure out what to get and what not to.
1- BALANCE YOUR PROBLEM AREAS: Gone are the days where you could get away with wearing black to look thinner (everyone caught on to that). My learning over these years is that wearing cut kurtas and tights is nice but our thighs do tend to bulge out, especially while on a bike. So I changed that and have a bunch of "chudidaar" tights which go very well with flared kurtas (Anarkalis) which are longer (although those make me feel a little like a balloon when the wind blows). These are great options for semi formal and even formal wear. I love that I can get away with NOT wearing a dupatta (which really does make it look more formal).
2- BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER: The distraction of the eye is a great way to visually cut your bulk. I used this trick even when I was "thinner." One tip I would say is having a set of shrugs or vests, there are many vests that are made for Indian outfits but make sure you find your size (look out for the free size, most of us won't fit those). You may really need to hunt for your size.
3- HIGHLIGHT YOUR ASSETS: If you don't have a double and triple chin and your neckline is lovely, extenuate that. My ankles are for some reason never putting on weight, so I have recently started wearing A-line cut kurta's with ankle length palazzos which are comfortable, often with pockets and show-off the thinnest part of my body (my ankles) beautifully. These are also known as "cigarette pants" because they are straight and not flared like conventional palazzo's. (Aside: if you have heavy ankles avoid this combo.) Many of us have heavy bodies with beautiful feet so in those cases, a fitted palazzo pant is far more complementing.
That said, I have realised that I do not have a the body type that suits big flared up palazzos so I avoid those like the plague. The thinner and shorter counterparts of those seem to compliment me. Of course its important to understand your body type and structure for these.
4- A PLUS SIZE GIRL's BEST FRIEND: A-line kurta's are really a plus size girl's best friend. They are the best at putting your best foot forward. Now instead of black, when I'm heading to a place where I may be a little self conscious — A-line is my go to kurta. Get the flowey ones for extra feminine touch.
5- SPICE IT UP: The way I see it, you have only one life. who knows if in a few months you will be a fatter version of yourself (not to be too pessimistic). Many years ago a friend gifted me a bikini in Goa. I was half my weight but I was too conscious of my body. Some how I mustered the courage to wrap myself in a sarong and go into the ocean in a bikini. Another friend who was swimming with me told me you have such a beautiful body. I was embarrassed at first and then a strange confidence came over me. It wasn't just that boost of a compliment from my friend, I realised that I may never reach my ideal shape ever and that I needed to embrace my body today because you never know. My sarong vanished and from then till my marriage whenever I went to Goa my bikini would be all I would wear. I'm twice as heavy I was then and I'm so happy that I don't have a single day in my life that I regret. That's why it's important to wear what makes you happy and confident because you never know what life has in store for you. So be it halter tops that you make into Kurtis or an off shoulder top — for plus size girls your comfort and joy is really the most important element for your personal fashion.
The world will tell you, especially when you google search plus size women clothes that you don't have a shape and you're better off wearing outfits which cover your body and make you look like you're constantly participating in a sack race. But I'm here to remind you that round is a shape, its voluptuous, beautiful and worth digging deeper and finding the fashion that truly makes you feel happy.